- Home
- Reflections
- The Pull of Home
The Pull of Home, Family and
Old Versions of Me
Coming back to England has made me think about the pull of home.
Not necessarily home as a particular house or address.
But the places, people and memories that connect us to earlier versions of ourselves.
I've lived in Australia for more than twenty years now, yet there is something about returning to England that feels familiar in a way that is difficult to describe.
The places.
The accents.
The little things you recognise without having to think about them.
And, of course, family.
It has made me think about how much of who we are is connected to where we came from, even when we've spent years building a life somewhere else.
Understanding the pull of home
There is something interesting about going back to a place you once called home.
You recognise things.
Some have barely changed.
Others are completely different.
And occasionally, something ordinary brings back a memory you haven't thought about for years.
But the thing I've been reflecting on is that while the place might be familiar, I'm not the same person who once lived there.
I've had experiences I couldn't have imagined.
Made choices.
Made mistakes.
Built a life.
Lost things.
Found things.
Changed my mind about what matters.
And learned more about myself along the way.
Sometimes I think we forget just how much living we've actually done.
The old versions of me
I wonder whether you've ever noticed how easily old versions of yourself can come to mind when you're around people who've known you for years.
Family members and old friends have memories of us that go back decades.
They remember things we may have forgotten.
They knew us before certain experiences shaped our lives.
And sometimes they still see parts of us that we've long since outgrown.
Not necessarily because they're doing anything wrong.
But because their picture of us was formed at a different point in our lives.
I think that's an interesting part of midlife.
We've spent years becoming who we are, yet there can still be a pull towards who we used to be.
The daughter.
The sister.
The younger woman finding her way.
The person who responded in familiar ways or played a particular role.
Some of those parts of us are still very much present.
Others no longer fit quite so comfortably.
And perhaps that's okay.
We can belong without going backwards
I think there is something reassuring about recognising that we don't have to choose between our past and our present.
We can value where we came from without wanting to return to the life we once lived.
We can love our family while recognising that we've grown into someone with different needs, values and priorities.
We can enjoy familiar places without feeling that we have to become our younger selves again.
We can honour where we came from without having to return to who we were.
That thought feels particularly relevant to New Life Midlife.
Because creating a new life isn't necessarily about leaving the old one behind.
Sometimes it's about bringing the different parts of our lives together and deciding what still belongs.
Making new memories
One of the things I'm particularly looking forward to on this trip is spending time with family and celebrating my Mum's 80th birthday.
Milestones like that have a way of making time feel more precious.
They remind us that life keeps moving.
That relationships matter.
And that there are moments we don't want to keep postponing.
Another part of this visit will be attending a Remembrance service with my Dad and stepmum, who travel from Spain each year to join friends in remembering someone they lost many years ago.
There is something meaningful about people continuing to come together after so much time has passed.
The friendships, shared memories and connections that remain, even as life takes everyone in different directions.
It reminds me that some of the most important parts of our lives are not necessarily the things we achieve, but the people we share them with and the memories we continue to honour.
I'm looking forward to sharing time together, enjoying the familiar and making new memories.
Because going home doesn't only have to be about remembering what was.
It can also be about appreciating what is.
What I am taking from this
I think one of the gifts of getting older is beginning to see our lives with a little more perspective.
Coming back to England has reminded me that the pull of home isn't only about remembering the past. It's also about recognising how much we've changed and appreciating the connections that still matter.
We can look back without needing to relive everything.
We can recognise the people we used to be without judging them for what they didn't yet know.
And we can appreciate how far we've come, even when our journey hasn't followed the path we expected.
Maybe that's part of creating a new life in midlife.
Not becoming someone completely different.
But recognising all the versions of ourselves that have brought us here, and giving ourselves permission to keep growing.
I'm not the woman who left England all those years ago.
And I wouldn't expect to be.
But I can appreciate where she came from, what she's learned and the life she's continuing to create.
Ponder
When you look back at earlier versions of yourself, what do you appreciate about the woman you were?
And what have you outgrown that you no longer need to carry forward?
Continue exploring
Privacy Policy