HOW TO CHANGE

The First Step Knowing How to Change is Knowing Where You Are

If you're here, you're likely sensing that something needs to shift and want to know how to change. You might not know exactly what that is yet — and that’s perfectly okay. The most powerful transformations begin with a single, courageous question: Where am I, really?

This is the first step on your journey. Before you can figure out how to change, you have to become aware of what’s going on now. Noticing where you are is about pressing pause, taking a deep breath, and looking at your life with curiosity rather than judgment.

Many women in midlife find themselves stuck in a cycle of doing — caring for others, keeping busy, staying productive — and yet feeling like something is missing. You might feel lost, overwhelmed, or disconnected from the woman you once were. And when you’re in this place, it’s natural to ask, How did I get here? and How do I change this?

Let’s start with that first step: awareness.

You can't move forward if you're not sure where you're starting from. When you're navigating your way through a transition — whether it's a career shift, the end of a relationship, or simply a desire for something more — you need a map. But before you can plot a path, you need to mark your starting point.

Noticing where you are helps you:

Acknowledge what’s really going on in your life

Get honest about what’s working and what’s not

Understand your habits, patterns, and emotional state

Identify what’s keeping you stuck

Open the door to change

This moment of reflection is how you begin to answer the bigger question: How do I change my life from here?


What “Noticing” Looks Like in Real Life

It might sound simple, but noticing is a skill — one many of us haven’t practiced. We're so conditioned to push through, to numb, to stay busy. But real change starts when you slow down long enough to hear what your life is trying to tell you.

This could look like:

Realizing you’re exhausted even after a full night’s sleep

Recognizing resentment creeping in because you always put others first

Hearing yourself say "I'm fine" when you're really not

Feeling a quiet sadness or emptiness you can’t quite explain

All of these are signals. Your body, your heart, and your mind are trying to get your attention. And when you notice them — really notice them — you begin to create space for healing and change.

Want help identifying those signals? Start with our Wheel of Life Assessment

Common Areas Where Women Feel Off-Track

When you're figuring out how to change, it helps to look at different areas of your life. Where are you feeling stuck, disconnected, or just "off"?

Ask yourself:

  • How do I feel about my health and energy?
  • Am I fulfilled in my work or daily routines?
  • Do my relationships feel supportive or draining?
  • Is there room for joy, creativity, or fun?
  • Have I been ignoring my own needs or desires?

Explore more: How to Identify What Isn’t Working

Remember, you're not here to fix everything at once. You're here to notice, reflect, and choose where to begin.

A Simple Tool to Help You Get Clarity

If you’re ready to get a clearer view of where you are right now, the Wheel of Life is a great place to start. It helps you visually assess different areas of your life and notice where there’s imbalance or dissatisfaction.

Download your free Wheel of Life worksheet → Wheel of Life Assessment Guide

By completing it, you’ll gain valuable insight into where your energy is being drained, where you're thriving, and — most importantly — where change is most needed.

Choosing Awareness Over Judgment

This part of the journey requires honesty, but also kindness. When you look at your life and think, This isn’t what I wanted, it’s easy to fall into self-blame. But the truth is, many of us were never taught how to change or that we even had permission to.

So be gentle. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re becoming aware — and that’s where everything begins.

➡️ Feeling emotionally stuck? Learn more in Why Am I Feeling Stuck?

From Awareness to Action

The N.E.W. L.I.F.E. method starts with Notice for a reason: you can’t change what you’re unwilling to see. But once you see it — even just a glimpse — everything starts to shift.

You may not have all the answers right now, but you’ve already done something powerful. You’ve paused. You’ve reflected. And you’ve started to ask a new question: How do I change my life for the better?

This is your beginning. Next, we’ll help you explore what your “new life” could look like.

👉 Ready to continue? Head to Envision Your New Life